My Mother is My Mentor : Rant.
I had a heart to heart talk with her today at the mall. It’s funny how easily I can tell her what’s bothering me, and what’s getting me down. Today I told her I was arguing with my boyfriend. I told her we argue a lot and she was actually pretty surprised. I wouldn’t really know since I’ve never been in a serious relationship until I met my current boyfriend. I thought it was normal to fight a lot, that’s what others told me. But my mother was genuinely surprised. She told me how she used to have arguments with my dad, of course, but this is the part of our relationship where we aren’t married yet, we don’t have many responsibilities, so we should be loving each other freely and saving the kind of arguments we have for later in life. Maybe she’s right. Then again, my dad and her have complimentary personalities. She told me that my boyfriend and I are both really stubborn which makes it especially difficult to resolve our conflicts. I just like the perspective she put it into. I’m pretty sad, upset, but I’m optimistic. It’s hard, sometimes I feel like giving up, but I keep pushing myself. A lot of the time I don’t know how to approach a situation…I wear my heart on my sleeve a lot, and when I feel disconnected, I will simply just start to cry. That’s me. I know I have to work on it, I’ve been told today that I’m not outgoing enough, I need more confidence. It was actually very hard to hear it, even though it’s something I already know. I know I have to change it and improve, but it’s hard when that’s your whole personality. I wish it was easier for people to see your true value without having to be so extroverted. But that’s life, and those are the expectations of the world. What more can I do than try?
